Bagelmouse’s miscellany

A bit like Schott’s Miscellany, but more me

It’s so damn hot, it’s ridiculous. Today was apparently the hottest day in July in the UK ever, hitting 36.3 degrees near Gatwick (it’s always near airports that the hottest temperatures get recorded, isn’t it? I blame all that tarmac. Oh, and the massive aviation fumes, obviously). I got home about 10.30pm after the Pearly gig, and my flat was just roasting. So the windows are open, I have a glass of iced water and my hair is pinned up off my neck in a way that nobody outside my immediate family will ever get to see because it makes my head look weird. And describing my hair as being "pinned up" makes me feel Victorian. I am at a vaguely normal temperature; I may be able to write some things that make sense.

I installed Firefox. I used to use it in my last job – I can’t in my current one because of stupid installation rules. It’s not as good as I remember; or perhaps my computer is just shit.

A conversation I had earlier this evening prompted me to think about a few things, and made me think I perhaps ought to say a few words of reassurance. First: if you didn’t already realise, I am rather prone to exaggeration for dramatic/comic effect. So, if you read me saying that I’ll die, it is possible that I’m not about to cark it at any point in the near future. (In the instance quoted above, I’m not allowed to take the combined pill any more because it increases my risk of stroke – so yes, it’s serious and could have dire consequences, but the dramatic effect was too good to play down…).

Not particularly related to anything said by anyone tonight, but I did think I maybe ought to say something about why I’m blogging in such frank detail about the depression thing. Apart from the fact that blogs are here, as far as I’m concerned, for truth-telling and open discussion, and also that it’s easier to write things online than say them in person, and that writing stuff down helps to settle ideas that may otherwise continue to float, freeform, in my mind…

No, my main motivation for sharing in such detail is that I am on a one woman education drive! When I first got diagnosed with depression two and a half years ago, I decided that I wasn’t going to hide it from my friends and people at work – I couldn’t drink, and as that would be so unusual for me I either had to tell the truth or keep track of what fibs I told to whom, and I’m a really bad liar – and once I came clean, I was amazed at how many people told me they also had been on anti-depressants at some stage or other. And then there were the other people who, frankly, were totally freaked out by the whole thing and needed reassuring that depressed people are just like you and me. Well, maybe more like you…

It’s something like 1 in 5 people will experience some form of depression in their lifetimes, isn’t it? And yet it’s so little talked about. It’s like cancer – nobody used to talk about cancer. Mental illness is a problem that’s only going to get worse across our society, so the more people get used to talking about it, and accepting it and people with it as a normal part of every day life, the better. I figure that I’m from the ‘normal’ end of the spectrum, so I can perhaps be an ambassador for good for my ‘people’ without all the attendant bad publicity of schizophrenia etc. And you can ask me questions, and don’t feel weird about it (but of course, remember I can only answer from my own personal experience). But also don’t be worried about me – I’m not about to chuck myself under a tube train; the whole reason for going on the tablets this time around is so there won’t be the tiniest possibility of ending up at the bottom of a one-way street. It’s prevention rather than cure. Although I’m genuinely touched by the concern 🙂

What else? Today I decided that Anglo-Saxon is the best language for swearing in (although, thinking about it, the day a few months ago when I spent an evening in the pub trying to teach an American colleague how to swear properly was probably the day I decided that). I’d be grateful if anyone could tell me how to power down a Netgear wired router other than switching the fucker off at the plug – the manual says it’s best to power down the router before the network, but I can’t find an off switch and there’s no icon in my system tray or desktop. Oh, I’m sure I won’t kill it. Elgar has decided to make a mockery of all my agonising over cat food by not eating anything, so today I actually bought some Whiskas. I’d rather he ate crap than ate nothing. See, I forgot the cardinal rule of having a cat – ie, you don’t own the cat, the cat owns you. Bitch.

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3 responses to “Bagelmouse’s miscellany

  1. Helen July 21, 2006 at 4:06 am

    I seem to remember its actually 1 in 3 women and 1 in 5 men. And I suspect thats just diagnosed so the actual figures are a lot higher.

  2. Pete July 22, 2006 at 11:23 pm

    That netgear router probably has a web admin page that will let you log in and power it down.
    Try typing http://192.168.1.1 (likely default address) into a browser on a computer that uses the router and you may get prompted for a password. Then check your manual for the defaults, log in, and power it down.

  3. Rachel July 23, 2006 at 5:35 pm

    Oh THAT’S what the website is for… 🙂
    Damn. I’ve been fighting the loss of my geek status for some time but I think it officially left.

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