A very English dilemma

There’s the usual amount of noise around the flat; it’s acceptable for a mid-terrace. The wonderful thing is that I can’t hear a thing in my bedroom, except… well, except the neighbours having sex. Frequently. She’s incredibly loud.

This creates a etiquette dilemma: just what is the appropriate response to such a disturbance? Does one shout encouragement? Marks out of ten? Should I congratulate Tomas on his technique next time I see him in the garden? Find some virile young stud and engage in a spot of competitive shagging?

(Amusingly, they’ve started to keep their kitchen blind closed. Our windows look out on each other and my roller blind’s broken. Yeah, cos that’s where they need the privacy…)

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2 responses to “A very English dilemma

  1. Pete November 6, 2006 at 10:04 pm

    I should think recording everything and playing it back after a short delay should be disconcerting enough to have the desired effect.
    “Oh, Frank, my lips are hot. Kiss my hot lips.”

  2. kate November 7, 2006 at 11:20 pm

    oh pete is so right. you HAVE to.

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