Conversations with my cat

The first in what will no doubt turn out to be an occasional series

Bagelmouse: Cat.
El Mog: Yerrrs?
Bagelmouse: There’s mouse poo on the kitchen worktop again.
El Mog: Ha! And it’s right next to the mousetrap! That is making me laugh.
Bagelmouse: No! This isn’t funny! Why aren’t you dealing with the mice?
El Mog: Because I prefer to spend my time like this:


Bagelmouse: I know. You spend all night sleeping on me.
El Mog: You’re warm.
Bagelmouse: You gave me a dead arm.
El Mog: You’re warm.
Bagelmouse: Listen, you happily chase catnip mousie and green woolly mousie, why aren’t you chasing the real mousies? Are you a cat or aren’t you?
El Mog: Check out the fishy breath. I am all feline.
Bagelmouse: Jesus, point taken… back off. You were obsessed with the kitchen cupboard before the mousies started getting into the flat. That’s where they’re getting in, you must have been able to smell them before.
El Mog: But now they’re in the flat. And they move by themselfs. I am scared of all things that move by themselfs that aren’t you.
Bagelmouse: Oh, for fuck’s sake.
El Mog: *purr*


2 responses to “Conversations with my cat

  1. Jamie March 2, 2007 at 5:34 pm

    Stop it. Stop beig crazy cat woman. Seriously, cease now, or become that weird pigeon woman Home Alone 2: Lost in New York – Only with cats instead of pigeons.

  2. Rachel March 2, 2007 at 7:37 pm

    What, Jamie? No comments from you about being ill, or guitar parts, or complaining, or that book you’re obsessed by? And if you’d read the post properly, you’d see it was simply another way of saying I have mice and I don’t know how to get rid of them. These are literary devices, hun. Get with the cultural programme… 🙂

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