I’m currently saying the script along with Back to the Future, so I might as well do something more useful with my time and share with you this actual, genuine, film pitch that I was passed in an underground car park by a shadowy man wearing a trilby. I’m erring on the side of arrogance that I’m not going to get sued for copyright. Names have been changed to protect the, um, guilty…

Respected Sir, Your Excellency,

I have write a few stories. Kindly produce them to films. I Have give you outline of few stories outline below.

1. I Have write a story about Prince Diana. Kindly Produce It to film. Diana sex with young persons. I Have write the story about she sex with her Horse Coach man. It is Really intresting. I Have write many incidents which are really intresting. Diana sex with many popular persons. I Hope the Hot story is intresting if it is produce to film. Kindly Produce to film.

2. A Physically Handicap person Name is Robert. He Could not satisfiying his wife in sex.

One day he went to a prostitue. He could not satisfiy her also. The Prostitiute tell Him "If you satisfiy me in sex with any part of your body, I accept what do you want. if you have any ugly thoughts you may use whatever you want on me".

Robert also satisfiedd her with a particlar part of his body and satisfiying him with ugly thinks whatever on her body. In which part of body is help him to satisfied her what are the ugly desires of him is the story.

3. A chain snatcher name is Henry. His wife name is Mariya. Once Police Arrested him for a case about for more than one year. mariya Have oaccasionally saex with a Leprosy person. She aloso sex with a Teenage boy. Soon she became pregnant (by the Teeage Boy).

Why she sex with The ugly Leprosy Person.

Henry come out from Jail. But Maiya is six mont Pregant. Henry beged her toa bolish the Pregnacy. But she Refuesed.

Finally what Happen. The Leprosy Person Purely satisfied her in sex. This is the Outline of the story. Kindly you Produce the film or You Kindly write me who ma Produce the film.

4. Henry is Driver of a Ladies Hostel. He is young and Handsome. A few Ladies of the Hostel gave him iyagara Tablets and ompeled him to fuck all of Them.

Soon Henry want to funish them. He have a Idea. Then Voluntaril sex with the Ladies. soon all of them Have A strange Disease. What is the Disease. Henry How fuished them. That is the story.

5. I Have write a auto iography of mine. It is intresting. Kindly Produce it to film. I Have write many intresting incidents from my life. Kindly produce it to film or kindly write me a few Book Publishers address to publish it. 

I’d call myself Deep Throat, but not in this context…


5 responses to “Pitch

  1. Ant April 1, 2007 at 10:06 am

    WTF is a chain snatcher?

  2. Iwik April 1, 2007 at 7:51 pm

    Is it a comedy or drama?

  3. Rachel April 1, 2007 at 11:27 pm

    Well it certainly made me laugh… although I can see number 1 as a period drama, what with the Horse Coach man and all.

  4. kate April 2, 2007 at 1:43 pm

    i don’t understand. am i really thick?

  5. Rachel April 2, 2007 at 3:10 pm

    This is a genuine attempt to pitch some films for production, obtained by a mystery individual and passed to me… I removed the location of the wannabe movie mogul, but to explain the mauling of the language I’ll simply say they come from the sub-continent… seriously, someone out there wants to make these films and has absolutely no idea how to go about it. His autobiography would be fascinating, I’m sure, if it ever gets produced to film.

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