Unexpected house guest

I’ve mentioned before about El Mog’s total inability to guard his territory, and I’ve mentioned, in passing, the tabby cat. This tabby cat’s taking the piss, I’m telling you; it hangs around the garden constantly and I’m sure it’s the one responsible for the shit all over the lawn. I was keeping an eye out for it today, what with the weedkiller and all but for once didn’t see it. Until. I was bringing the stepladders back into the house, and the back door was open. I’d swear I’d closed it not thirty seconds before but it must have only been pulled to. You know where this is going, right…? So I’m banging and crashing with the stepladders through the kitchen cos they’re quite tall and I’m quite clumsy and I hear the sound of cat feet gallumping up the hall stairs.

Bagelmouse: Oh for fuck’s sake Elgar, could you just for once not freak out when I’m carrying something big? You know I’m not going to drop it on you…
[Tabby cat sticks its head round the bedroom doorway.]
Bagelmouse: …errrrr… and where the hell did you come from?
Tabby cat: Oh SHIT. Busted.
[Tabby cat flies down the stairs and pelts through the kitchen into the bathroom; skids on the bathmat and back out into the loo. By this time Bagelmouse has got the back door open and is glaring at the cat. Tabby cat gratefully races outside, down the garden and over the fence.]
El Mog [appearing from the living room]: Did I miss something?

This is why I decided not to bother getting a catflap.


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