Flies are idiots. There’s one now, buzzing away behind the living room blinds. I have lots of flies in my garden (possibly because of the amount of cats that use the borders as a lavatory) and some of them inevitably get into the house. I try and shoo them out the door again; I open windows and hope the scent of the fresh outside air will call to them. But no. Much as I loathe wasps at least they have the intelligence to know how to get outside again (if I don’t spray them with Raid and batter their brains out with the sport section of the Saturday Guardian first). But flies are just morons. They’re too stupid even to hate.


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