Elizabeth

How excited am I about the imminent release of Elizabeth: The Golden Age?! Very. Very very very. There’s just one tiiiiny problem. When the Spanish Armada came, Elizabeth I was 55. Cate Blanchett is currently 38. And an incredible looking 38. (Back when I had a cool job I got to be in a small press conference with her. It wasn’t that long after the birth of her first child and whatever personal trainer she employed certainly earned their money, and the stylist and hair and make-up people back in the suite also did marvellous work, but still – she looked stunning. And she was funny. And charming. Can you tell I still have a small crush?)

Aaanyway, the point is that Elizabeth I, at the time of the Armada, did not look like this and certainly was not doing complicated turns on horseback like she’s shown in the trailer, not to mention that she’s sitting astride the horse rather than sidesaddle:

Also loving the artistic licence taken to airbrush Elizabeth’s smallpox scars and her notoriously bad teeth. I’m sorry. The nerdy historian in me won’t shut the fuck up. I try, but she won’t let me sit there and watch a film like this without bitching. (Don’t get me started on The Tudors.)

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