October 28, 2007
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I really can’t begin to tell you how much I hate the concept of ‘Dave‘, the channel formerly known as UK G2.
Oh alright, if you insist.
I hate anything being branded as my mate. You are a commercial proposition, you are not my mate. You are an inanimate object, trying to get me to impart my hard-earned cash, you are not my mate. By giving your marketable entity a chummy, loveable name like ‘Dave’, you make me hate you. You have immediately alienated me by implying your channel is a beer-bellied, finger-pulling, twat-headed moron who chats up ‘birds’ and worships Jeremy Clarkson. You sound like you should be showing "My Massive Tits and Me", "Help! My Cock has a Rash" and "Cop Chase Criminal Scummers 36". In short, you sound like you should be a cross between Bravo and BBC3.
And then you go and fucking show QI, Buzzcocks, Whose Line is it Anyway. And Top Gear (a guilty pleasure of mine). I love these shows. And they’re being packaged under a banner that makes me want to punch in the screen. What was wrong with UK G2? How did that stop you creating "a strong and noisy personality for the channel that immediately aligns us with our core 16-34 male audience" (according to station head Steven ‘Steve’ North). I immediately know what BBC3, BBC4 and More4 stand for, because they have actual, real, channel personalities, rather than having to be artificially created in time for a launch onto Freeview.
I want to hate Dave. Dave is an idiot. But they have intelligent comedy shows (and Top Gear). I’m seeing a disconnect between the marketing and the content and it’s making my brain fry.
Oh, while I’m here… I wish Intel would stop showing that ‘speed-dating’ advert for their centrino processors. Are they trying to make me think that, if I buy a machine with a centrino processor, I’m actually contributing to the tragic separation of a couple who appeared perfect for each other? *sob*