I’m hardly a DIY genius and even I know this

If Tom's experience is anything to go by, previous residents of Hither Green are bloody awful at DIY. This weekend I decided to finally do something about the peeling paint on the front doorframe before winter sets in properly and the whole thing rots. So yesterday I set about sanding and cleaning down the remaining woodwork, probably the first time I've ever looked really closely at it. (After all – when was the last time you inspected your front door?) And a thought struck me. The morons used emulsion paint.

Some of the interior woodwork, that I've not yet got round to re-painting, has been done using emulsion. OK, fair enough. You wanted to tart the place up a bit and only had half a tin of Dulux Eggshell lying around. But exterior woodwork?! Are you out of your fucking mind? The paint job lasted about two years before bubbling and cracking and coming away in great big chunks, exposing the bare wood beneath. I hotfooted it to the local DIY store and picked up a can of undercoat but it's barely hiding the disastrous bits that I couldn't get off with sandpaper. Next spring I think I'm going to have to hire a paint stripper and take the whole lot off (mine and my neighbour's, it's the same structure and neither was done properly with gloss) and start from scratch.

Cheers, fuckwits.

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2 responses to “I’m hardly a DIY genius and even I know this

  1. Tom October 20, 2008 at 8:16 am

    You have my sympathies. I’ve worked out that pretty much every DIY task I try follows a set formula:
    1) Start out with good intentions and high hopes
    2) Find out that previous owners have sabotaged the item in question. Curse, shake fist at the sky
    3) Resign self to hours of hard work and trips to Homebase
    Oh, and the paint thing is common, too.. I think some people just don’t know about the different types available (and I’m pretty certain our old windows were painted, indoors at least, with Tipp-Ex).

  2. Rachel October 20, 2008 at 10:55 pm

    Tipp-Ex? Might be worth a try when the fuckwittery gets too much – at least the fumes will ease the pain.

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