Conversations with my cat

The continuing saga

Bagelmouse: You are, are you not cat, at least eight years old?
El Mog: As far as mystery allows me to reveal, I am indeed.
Bagelmouse: And you have, at least once a day for those eight years (barring a couple of 'incidents'), managed to excrete?
El Mog: Well, yes.
Bagelmouse: So why do you always seem so surprised and confused when your bowels come calling? You start scratching around in your litter tray without doing anything, you want to go out then come in then go out again, you give me melodramatic looks, stand in my way and let out howls of protest?
El Mog: Um, I think this might be straying over the borders of my right to privacy.
Bagelmouse: You can pee for Britain and when you actually do get around to having a poop, it all passes [heh] without incident.
El Mog: Well, yes, but –
Bagelmouse: So why, why, do we have to have the drama? Do you think your craps are like feature films? You can't have a major release without a trailer campaign?
El Mog: I find this injurious to my dignity. [Stalks off]
Bagelmouse: [muttering] You have no dignity. I think I just proved that much.

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