“Wellness is feeling happier with yourself and other”

The gym is going surprisingly well – despite an early hamstring injury, which means I only need cruciate ligament damage to claim the full trio of footballers' injuries – even to the extent that I think I've lost some weight. This is not necessarily good; my jeans are falling down. There are no scales in my house for feminist reasons so the trouser-hoiking is my only clue that something's definitely happening with all this exercise stuff.

I'm starting to get very annoyed by the machines though. They're patronising me. They trot out little platitudes on their screens; while I'm on the cross trainer there's a whole row of unused treadmills before me, spewing out their tritenesses:

"Wellness means mental balance"
"Wellness: the new lifestyle"
"Wellness for longer life"

Longer life? Does this mean 'wellness' guarantees I'll never get cancer or be mown down by a bendy bus? Wtf is 'wellness' anyway? Technogym, the maker of these irritating machines, has a whole section on its website dedicated to 'wellness'. I do love their completely circular introduction:

"Wellness lifestyle: a positive mental attitude to achieve wellness"

Hippies.

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One response to ““Wellness is feeling happier with yourself and other”

  1. Amy December 17, 2008 at 11:28 am

    Fitter… happier… more productive…

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