Why I shop at Homebase, even though Wickes is closer, cheaper and sells better quality tools

Scene: Catford Wickes

Lone Female Shopper: Excuse me, you're out of filling knives. Do you know if there's any chance you have any more in the back?
Wickes Employee: There'll be some on the shelf. [goes back to chatting to friend]
LFS: Mmm, no, I just looked on the shelf and the rack is empty.
WE: Oh, let me look. [walks over to shelf] We're out of filling knives.

Every bloody time I go in that place.

(I did eventually find a filling knife somewhere else, and I just want to say that using lightweight filler is so much fun. It's the consistency of white chocolate mousse; yesterday I was wandering round the house looking for holes to fill.)

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