Rules of engagement

Stuck on a bus on Regent Street ysterday afternoon (which was a stupid thing to be doing anyway; I could have walked it twice in the time, boot and all) I couldn't help overhearing one side of a bizarre phone conversation. The young woman in question was maybe 19 or 20 years old, and black (this may be relevant, I'm not sure, 'disrespecting' kept coming up). She was talking to a friend who'd clearly just struck up a relationship with some guy who wasn't keen on it being common knowledge. But that wasn't the interesting bit. She was trying to convey some very complicated rules of inter-gender conduct, mainly revolving around who she would and would not talk to, and who she would and would not expect to talk to her. The gist seemed to be that it's OK to talk to men you know very well, and whom you don't know at all, but not acquaintances.

"Cos, my cousin's friends, now my cousin's dead, his really good friends know not to talk to me, right? And the ones that do, I can't believe it, I'm like 'do you know me at all?'"

And she was treating this like an unbreakable code that everybody she knew lived by, or at least her cousins who she'd heard talking about girls and what these cousins thought of girls who would talk to them.

Did I miss a memo here, or is this the most arse about tit thing you've ever heard?


One response to “Rules of engagement

  1. Pete December 6, 2009 at 2:38 pm

    So it’s tough to get stuck in the friend zone, but if you get stuck in the acquaintance zone you’re completely out of luck.
    It sort of makes sense – if you’re being introduced to someone you have a chance to evaluate them and decide if you want to get to know them. If you decide no, then they just need to learn that you’ll pretty much ignore them forever.

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