December 31, 2009
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I hate humming. Mindless humming is something done by people too vacuous to occupy their brains with actual thoughts whilst queuing or on public transport. It's never a recognisable tune and it's generally of a pitch and volume that you can't ignore.
You get a lot of humming in airports. Check-in. Security. Boarding. Passport control. Baggage reclaim. Oh, the humming of the late-middle-aged man! It's enough to make you want to stuff your pants with explosives.
Humming shares space on the same the list as chewing gum and that horrible squeaking noise that balloons make. My list of things I will ban when I rule the world. (It's a long list.)