Logical and not at all arsebackward arguments

BNP to enter candidate in mayoral elections

says the News Shopper. Oh, how brilliant. This'll be a fun few months here in Lewisham.

A British National Party mayoral candidate will target Muslim and Nigerian voters at this year's Lewisham elections, it has been claimed.

Target? Target how? Target for the "generous grants to those of foreign descent resident here who wish to leave permanently"? Target for a kicking? I can't think of another way the BNP would target Muslim and Nigerian voters.

Robert Bailey, the BNP's London organiser, shed some light on this.

"It's going to be difficult. The Labour Party think they've got the ethnic vote sewn up – that's why they imported all these people and gave them passports."

Apparently Labour have been scouring Africa for centre-leftists and, yes, importing them. A bit like slavery, but with enfranchisement. And I tell you what, they were planning ahead, what with it taking a minimum of five years residency before you can apply for citizenship and therefore to be eligible to vote, and five years ago the Tories were dead in the water. Five years ago they had Michael Howard. That's the kind of foresight we could have done with on many other policy issues.

I'm still not sure how this counts as targeting Muslim and Nigerian voters though. Unless 'targeting' actually means 'insulting'.

"But a lot of people who follow Islam won't be following Labour because of their wars in Iraq and Afghanistan. They can't rely on the Nigerian Christian vote because of their support for abortion

I won't be voting Labour because of Iraq and Afghanistan. (Well, there's lots of reasons why I won't be voting Labour.) Hey BNP, why aren't you targeting me?

and championing of gay rights above what's right and normal."

Quite. We wouldn't want to champion anything above what's right and normal.

I am, however, having difficulty following the causal link from 'Muslims and Nigerians won't vote Labour' to 'we can convince them to vote BNP'. Unless Lewisham's entire ethnic minority population has a massive self-esteem problem.

"Lewisham has a traditional white working-class background and in recent years it's come under attack by Labour-inspired immigration policies which have made the white working-class a minority."

No it hasn't. 2001 Lewisham census data: two-thirds of the population are white, less than 25% are black, Caribbean or African, with the rest of the population split among Asian / Indian, Chinese, Turkish, Vietnamese…

If it's the white working class that's under threat, you'd do better to look at middle class wankers like me, moving in and buying up all the housing. My neighbours don't seem to mind me, though.

"Lewisham is symptomatic of a lot of London boroughs where you'd be hard-pressed to find an indigenous face in the high street and hear people speaking English."

No you're not.

"Lewisham, in many respects because of Labour's open-door policy of mass immigration, looks more like the capital of some far-flung country than a borough in London."

No it doesn't.

We'd appreciate the weather though.

I'm still at a loss over how the BNP thinks the Nigerian Christians and alienated British Muslims are going to vote for them when, in the next breath, the BNP announces they're all a load of bastards polluting the streets of the borough.

Sorry, I'm making the fatal mistake of expecting sense and logic out of the BNP, aren't I? Rookie mistake.

Of course, Andrew Milton probably has it right when he says that standing in the Mayoral race will get the BNP far more publicity, for less money, than putting up individual parliamentary candidates and councillors across the area. Ah. Rookie mistake #2.

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